How We Co-Create Our Reality With Others

By Melody Fletcher

We create our reality through the vibrations we send out. These vibrations are a result of the thoughts we think and focus on. The vibrations attract others like it (this is the Law of Attraction at work), until enough energy has been gathered to bring it into the physical.

This process is fully explained in the e-book Deliberate Receiving, which you can download for free on my site. But if we create everything in our reality, all of it, where do other people come in? Can we control others with our vibration? How does it all really work?

Before we go any further, I’d like to clarify that no, you cannot control others with your vibration, your mind, your thoughts or anything else. Sorry. But the good news is that you don’t have to. You do create your own reality, which means you can choose which experiences to attract, as long as you’re creating consciously. This will lead to pretty much the same result as if you were able to control others. Let me explain.

Your personal reality is created by a culmination of all the different vibrations within you. You are nothing but energy, and when you focus on a thought, you literally begin to vibrate at the frequency of that thought.

This vibration then begins to attract more energy of the same frequency to it. If you continue to focus on this frequency, and providing you’re not cancelling it out with a competing frequency (for example, if you were to think “I am wealthy” but have a strong belief that “I am poor”, you’d have a hard time creating wealth), that energy will create part of your reality.

Nothing happens by default. Everything, even the tiniest thing in your reality was drawn to you by you, even if it seems unimportant. The Universe wastes nothing.

So, each one of us is kind of floating about in the Universe, in our energy bubble, if you will. We are each in our own reality.

So, you’re floating along, emanating all kinds of different vibrations. And so is everyone else. But what happens when one of your vibrations and that of a different person match? You meet. And your realities line up on that vibration. It might be in a seemingly insignificant way.

For example, your waitress at the copy shop, or someone that bumps into you in the street. But make no mistake, if you become aware of a person at all, if they are in your reality, your realities have aligned as the result of a matching vibration.

If you have a question and another person has the answer, the Law of Attraction will bring you together. There is a reason for everyone and everything in your life. Again, the Universe wastes nothing.

Now, when I say that there’s a reason for everything, I don’t mean that there’s some kind of cryptic message from the beyond that you’re meant to follow. You are here to make your own decisions. What I mean is that everything, even the tiniest of occurrences, is in your life because it matches a vibration that you put out there, whether you know it or not.

Knowing this will help you to create the reality you want. If someone is bothering you, it’s because they are a match to a vibration you hold within you that doesn’t serve you. They are a mirror to your vibration, which bothers you. Pay attention to what is about their behavior that you don’t like, do some soul searching and release the belief.

If you shift your energy, that person’s behavior will change, or will no longer bother you. The Universe cannot continue to bring you a vibration that you are no longer a match to.

With that in mind, if you want to elicit a certain kind of behavior from people around you, all you have to do is focus on what kind of behavior you want. Keep in mind that you cannot force a specific person to act in a certain way. You cannot control their vibration (you can influence their vibration, but they have to be a willing participant. In this case, they are allowing their vibration to be influenced by yours. You cannot assert your energy onto theirs). But you can draw someone to you that matches the frequency you’ve chosen.

You can also elicit different behaviors from the same person, depending on your own vibration, providing they hold that vibration within them.

For example, someone who has the ability to be nice or nasty, can be pleasant to you in response to your high vibration, or mean in response to your low vibration. This is why you can seemingly change people’s behavior when you shift your energy. They have different vibrations within them (as we all do), and you’re lining up with a different one.

But you can’t force someone to be good company in your presence if the match isn’t there. You can’t force someone to like you or feel a connection to you or give you something they’re not willing to give. That doesn’t matter, however.

If you want a nicer boss, for example, you can focus your attention on the frequency of a nice boss. Either, your boss will become nicer, as you line up with a different matching frequency within him, or you will change jobs, get a new boss, or somehow get a different boss who is nicer. You can’t control your boss, but you can control what kind of boss is in your reality.

Just as others are coming into your reality as a match to your vibration, so are you coming into theirs. A match never goes one way. Every meeting, every alignment is always a result of a mutual vibrational match.

This means that when you meet someone, when you become aware of them and/or have a conversation with them, there is some value for you in there, as well as some value for them. It’s always reciprocal. It’s always co-creation.

Pay attention to whom and what you’re lining up with. Start to look for the nuggets of value. The Universe wastes nothing. Everything is relevant. All you have to do is open yourself up to it and be ready to see.


Copyright(c) 2010. Melody Fletcher. All Rights Reserved. Visit for articles and information on the Law of Attraction and sign up to receive the free e-book and audio “Deliberate Receiving – How the Law of Attraction really works”.