By Kelly Nault-Matzen
Struggle is not part of the natural order of life. One never sees a cherry tree struggle to produce blossoms when given the right environment. Why? Because the tree is simply following its purpose–its basic nature. Fortunately, struggle does not have to be part of the parenting equation either. This is good news for many parents because if we choose to use the law of attraction we can experience a happier, more peaceful and respectful home. Yes, this can even mean eliminating award-winning temper tantrums for good. Sound too good to be true? Read on.
What is Attraction Parenting?
Attraction parenting employs the principle that the behavior we experience in our home we have attracted to us by our thoughts, deeds and actions. You see, the people around us, especially those closest to us (like our children), simply reflect and respond to our own feelings and actions. As much as we would like to blame our kids for their behavior (especially when they are pushing every button we have, plus some we never knew we had!), generally our kids’ only mirror what is going on within us.
So, if your kids currently have you spluttering and dog-paddling in the “parenting deep end”, it may be time to ask yourself:
– How am I contributing to my kids behavior? (Gulp!)
– Are my kids responding to my lack of patience and skyrocketing stress?
– Are my children desperately seeking quality time with me because I haven’t been giving them much special time lately?
– Are my kids no fun to be around because frankly, I am not fun to be around?
Answering these questions truthfully can quickly get to the root cause of their misbehavior.
The Six Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tips
There are six parenting tips below that can positively transform any household of chaos, frustration and stress into harmony, joy and peace.
The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #1 – You are modeling for your children how to behave each moment of every day
Children watch what we do far more than they listen to what we say. Thus, if you yell at them to be quiet, push them to do what you want them to do, and use a disrespectful tone when frustrated–you only teach them how to treat you. Stop! Take a breath and make a commitment to walk your talk. Model for your child how a happy, healthy and sane human being looks, talks and acts. Then watch them follow your lead.
The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #2 – You are your child’s most powerful self-esteem mirror
Your child seeks approval from you more than anyone else. You are the mirror that tells them how deserving or unworthy they are. They will believe whatever you reflect to them–positive or negative! Overt and even subtle put-downs can be devastating to their sense of self-worth and wellbeing. When a child has low self-esteem they will often act out, misbehave and drive you nuts! By using the power of positive words and actions to encourage, rather than discourage, you can be a beacon of light illuminating your child’s worth. This gift of positive mirroring can inspire your child to believe in themselves, follow their passions and ultimately be someone who is a delight to be around. Therefore, choose to reflect your child’s brilliance, special god-given talents, and worth by being grateful for what they are and do.
The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #3 – The more you focus on the positives of your child, the more you will experience them
One of the most powerful aspects of the law of attraction is that whatever you focus on, expands. Thus, if you spend much of the day nagging about all the things your child isn’t doing, or all the bad things your child is doing, you simply attract more of these frustrating experiences to you. Instead, we can take affirmative steps to create the behaviors we want by simply noticing and being grateful for what we do like. One of my favorite parenting gratitude techniques is what I call the “Dog Factor!” You know how dogs unconditionally show us love and affection–greeting us at the door enthusiastically, whether we’ve been gone for two days or two minutes? Well, apply this approach to your own family. Beam with love when they come home or when they enter the room. Remember that no matter what you are experiencing right now with your family, there are thousands of people in this world (like those who can’t have kids!) who would gladly trade places with you.
The Secret Parenting Law of Attraction Tip #4 – Discipline only teaches children to do better next time, when they feel better
This is probably the most difficult parenting tip to accept. Discipline doesn’t have to feel bad to be effective. In fact, most discipline that is based on punitive punishment (things like yelling and taking away privileges), only teaches our kids to lie, and not get caught next time! You reap what you sow. Thus, if your punishment is focused on rehashing all the bad things your child has done, you are only attracting more of this bad behavior to you in the near future.
For discipline to really inspire children to do better next time it needs to:
- Be respectful
- Focus on the solution (and how to do better next time)
By filling our home with gratitude for all we do have and with positive words and actions, we can begin to experience more pleasant interactions and actively create the family life of our dreams.
Kelly Nault-Matzen, MA, family counselor, corporate parenting spokesperson and award winning parenting author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy!