By Robin Harris
How long have you been affirming something like:
-I am rich and happy
-I am my perfect ideal weight
-I have the ideal mate
-I love my job and it pays me great
… or something along those lines only to wind up feeling more frustrated and stuck. I’ve known about affirmations for over 20+ years and I’ve known they don’t work for me for about the same amount of time. I could ask what’s wrong with me and why don’t they work for me? But upon closer look, a better question might be, why do some self-help experts keep promoting them as a primary change tool when they clearly don’t work for most people.
Let’s debunk the expert myth right now. Just because the “experts” tell you something works and just because many of the “experts” all say it works but it doesn’t work for you … who cares what the experts say! In truth, affirmations, as we have been taught them, don’t seem to work because we have a built in resistance to the very thing we are affirming.
Here’s what I mean by that: Let’s use a fictitious person named Nun for our example. If Nun says to himself, “I have avalanches of money flowing to me now!” His inner critique is most likely going to chime in, after it stops laughing at him … “if that’s the truth, why couldn’t you pay your cell phone bill this month?”
In fact, the affirmation is working because what Nun unknowingly affirmed with his “tail-ender” was lack and more lack. Even if his inner-critic’s tail-ender didn’t surface to the level of conscious awareness, his subconscious mind has its own built-in resistance to change. So when Nun looks around and sees lack, his eyes take it in and his mind says … “what I see is the truth and there are no avalanches of anything but bills and more bills which I am struggling to pay”.
Okay, we can replace the fictitious character with a real one, ME! I was so frustrated and disappointed and I felt like a failure because I couldn’t seem to transform my life with these flowery affirmations no matter how I tried. But to my credit, I am relentless and by George, who ever he is , I knew in my heart that transformational change was possible and more importantly, it was possible for me and for everyone.
Transformation sales-hype can mislead you to think you can undo a lifetime of stinking-thinking in 30 days, and although it is possible, most people have way to much resistance going on to let it be that easy. I had to come up with my own approach which I call Releasing Technology to help me peel off the layers of resistance. I then came across EFT which led me to something called EFT Choices Affirmations. BLING, the lights went on for me. WOW, this was the missing piece for me and when combined with my Releasing Technology, I had a solid transformation tool set to help me get to the next level.
The EFT Choices Affirmation is designed in such a way that it handles the inner-critics tail-ender before it can cancel out what you are affirming. It allows you to own what is and then to create another reality by making a choice. This form of affirmation is done while using the EFT meridian tools and you are able to affirm your new choice without resistance. Of course, no tool works exactly the same for everyone but the success rate of this is so profound, many Therapists such as Dr. Patricia Carrington are using Energy Psychology to help people make amazing life changes.
So here’s what I recommend; if old-school affirmations work for you, keep doing what you are doing. If you have other practices that give you what you need, don’t jump ship just for something new to do. But if you are looking for some additional transformation technologies that carry the weight of science and ancient Eastern healing practices, then you will want to click on over to Dr. Carrington’s site and download a free copy of her eBook at [http://www.eftupdate.com]. I’m not trying to sell you anything and this is not an affiliate program; it’s just something that I personally use and I am really convinced that it can help a lot of people. By the way, EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and you can learn more about it when you visit the site I recommended.
Robin Harris is a DesignerLife Coach and the owner of [http://www.ManifestWithEase.com] and co-founder of [http://www.SecretKeysToPassiveIncome.com] which offer complimentary resources for those who want to embrace ease as a way of creating more happiness, prosperity, and success in life and in business. You can also connect with Robin through her Lens at http://www.squidoo.com/manifestwithease/