By Janeen Clark
This is an exercise designed to help you attract “the” dream relationship you have always wanted. It might get a little lengthy (the article and the exercise) but can be extremely enlightening. So here we go.
The first thing you are going to do is analyze your past relationships. What was right with, as well as what was wrong with each one of them, and how it effected you personally.
You are going to go as far back as your first crush at 10 years old.
So now in chronological order (as much as you remember anyway) you are going to give a separate notebook page or word processing document to each person.
On Each Page you are going to write the persons name on top and then these 4 sections:
3. Worst Memories of things that happened between the two of you
4. Best Memories of things that happened
You see one of the most important ingredients in using the Law of Attraction is knowing “exactly” what it is you are wanting. How can Universe bring you the “perfect” relationship when you have never gotten laser beam clear on what the “perfect” relationship to you would be?
Believe me, by the time you have finished the first part of this exercise – you will definitely have a better idea.
O.K. So here we go.
Write out all the negative qualities about this person that you didn’t like. For example:
Too much into shopping
Too much into sports, etc.
(Remember – this has to do with what felt negative to you personally – not how others might think abut it)
Same Interest, etc.
(Again this has to do with what “you” enjoyed about the person – not what your best friends or your mother thinks you should enjoy)
Now list the most negative memories that you have had with this particular person
The time they cheated on me
The time they embarrassed me in front of my friends or family
The time they didn’t show up for….
The time they lied to me about….
Now I have to tell you. This might get a little detailed. Some of these things might still cause you embarrassment or even pain. But you need to get this stuff out in the open. You don’t want to bury it inside of you or ignore it and I will tell you why.
If you have an unconscious fear of these things happening again and you are consciously or unconsciously “worried” about it happening again – guess what chances are you will draw to you again?
If you keep putting out the energy “I don’t want them to cheat, I don’t want them to cheat” look at what your focus is on! The person cheating.
Think of this part as cathartic. As you write down each bad memory, imagine that you are now expunging it from your experience just by the act of writing it down.
Next write about all the positive memories you have about the relationship.
The time they surprised me with….
The laughs we had when……
How they used to bring me coffee every morning..
Love notes they would leave around…
Great phone sex…
Whatever… you get the picture.
Now do this for every person you were involved with romantically. O.K. Now you have your blueprint right in front of you. You know what you do and don’t want. Now you are going to start a new page. On this page you are going to write:
What Universe Is Happily Delivering To Me in The Perfect Partner
Now go back to all of your lists and write down all the things that were listed in your positive aspect categories. Then write:
The person I am going to be in a relationship with is going to be:
Have the same interest, etc.
Take all of the positives from all of the lists (because some people had good qualities that others didn’t and you want them all!) After this list is put together, add whatever things that maybe you never had from someone but always wanted.
Note: Just be careful how you write this. If you want your dream person to look like George Clooney or Pam Anderson don’t write that. Write that you would like to be “as attracted” to them as you are to George or Pam. Because let’s get real – there aren’t too many Georges’ or Pams’ around. But if you have the same level of physical attraction towards your dream person – what does it matter what their actual physical characteristics are?
O.K. Now you are laser-beam clear on what you want.
Put that paper aside for the moment and take out a fresh sheet. On this one you are going to write:
If the perfect person were to show up right now I would need to:
Lose 20 pounds
Clean or paint my apartment
Clean out my car
Get them a fresh toothbrush
Make room in a drawer of closet for them at my house
Buy new sexy underwear or pajamas they could see me in
Now let me tell you why this is important. I have written a previous post about how a girlfriend and I discovered this little trick quite by accident.
Even though she kept saying she was ready for her dream relationship there were actually a million reasons why she “technically” wasn’t. She had a whole list of things she wanted to improve, or even worse, felt she would have to hide from her dream person. (Her messy apartment, her Hello Kitty bed sheets, etc.)
So even though she was saying she was ready, unconsciously she had a laundry list of reasons why she really wasn’t. We found out that it was that “list” that was holding her back from meeting “him”.
So ask yourself that same question. If your dream person were to show up tomorrow would you be ready for them? Would you be proud to show them where you live? Do you have room for them where you live so they could have a drawer or closet in your place if you wanted them to stay over. Would you be comfortable walking around naked in front of them? Would you be proud to show them how and what you eat? Feel any need to hide a bad habit from them, smoking or excessive drinking or whatever?
You see the time to address these issues is now! You do not have to wait for them to actually show up before going into “impression overdrive”. If there is something you would do different in your life to make things better for your new partner, then start physically preparing for their arrival now!
Join that gym, lose that weight, clean your place up!
There are actually three benefits to this. The first is that you are not only telling Universe what you are wanting – you are physically taking action that shows you are so sure your dream person is on its way that you getting ready for it.
The second benefit is that if any of these “bad habits” have unconsciously held you back from attracting that person, you are eliminating those unconscious road blocks.
The third benefit is if you feel that you want to make any of these changes for another person – it means that even without realizing it – these changes are important to you as well, otherwise you wouldn’t care about making them in the first place.
So by doing them now, you will automatically be making yourself feel better. You will feel stronger, cleaner, more organized, you will look better. Your mental vibration will increase and it is from this higher level that you want to be vibrating at when attracting your dream partner.
O.K. So now where are we?
We have two lists. The one that shows exactly what you want in a relationship and a second that shows the actions you are going to start taking to be “ready” for that person.
On To Step Three: (The most important and quite possibly the most difficult step)
Get busy enjoying every moment of your life right now and forget about the actual who, where and when you are going to meet this person.
You see, you have already done the two most important parts of making Law of Attraction work.
You have gotten clear on what you want and have asked for it You have gotten yourself ready to receive it The third step is now in Universe’s hands – the delivery of it.
Now get out of your own way and let Universe do its thing!
By sitting around worrying or trying to force the issue, you are doing exactly the opposite of what you should be doing to attract!
By thinking “I still haven’t met them!” you are attracting “not meeting them!” By worrying about them “not showing up yet” you are attracting “not showing up yet”.
And then of coarse there is the “desperation scent” We have all put it out there at one time or another, just as most of us have also been on the receiving end.
The pushy, needy, too much – too soon feeling. Desperation on the person wanting it – suffocation for the person on the receiving end. Remember we are energetic beings. We can read the energy coming from others even if it is subconscious.
Let it go and start appreciating all the great things that exist in your life right NOW! Don’t worry – the right person will show up!
Look at it this way, who would you be more attracted to? The lonely desperate person sitting in the corner, or the happy, busy, purposeful one who is enjoying every moment in life?!
Or even looking at it this way. If you meet that person tomorrow, you are a great person to be around. If you don’t meet that person for a few months, you are still a great person to be around!!
Either way you win and you are happy!
So go and do your lists and remember to follow the order.
Ask, be ready to receive and then get out of Universe’s way! You’ll be with your dream person before you know it.
Janeen Clark is a Spiritual Life Coach who has been teaching, studying and applying the Law of Attraction for almost 20 years. If you would like to read more Manifestation Exercises that you could put into practice right now, please visit her daily blog at The Very Happy Human