The following Abraham-Hicks transcript and video were excerpted from their workshop in Kansas City, MO on August 29, 1999. To learn more about Abraham-Hicks visit their website: http://www.abraham-hicks.com/
Video Credit: Vortex Joy
Low self-esteem, and separation from Well-Being?
Q One question I have is, how can you help somebody gain self-esteem? Somebody else.
Let’s say somebody’s used to getting approval from others, and that’s how they help themselves
feel good. How can we help somebody else gain their own self-approval, their own self-esteem?
A Well, the best way is by teaching through the power of your own example. There is not
anything inappropriate about appreciating being appreciated. In other words, it’s a wonderful
thing to have someone loving you. But the uncomfortable side of that is that if you are dependent
upon their attention for your connection, then you become very hard to deal with. Because now,
you are needing to be their attention, their only attention, all of the time. And so, often
relationships begin that way where you are giving each other your undivided attention, and then
your life continues to call you, and then it is uncomfortable to have to give all of your attention
to each other.
What we would do if we were standing in your physical shoes, is if it is someone like a
child, or a mate, or someone that you have lots of ready access to, we would verbalize our
awareness of our own connection. When we are feeling really, really good, we would
acknowledge, “Hmm, I feel really full of myself. I must be in vibrational harmony with who-I-really-
am.” Now sometimes, those words feel uncomfortable to you, in which case you would
find words that would be more easy for them to hear. But the point you’re wanting to make is,
“When I’m well connected to who-I-am, I feel great. And when I’m not, I don’t feel so good.”
So, for example, if you are not feeling very good, and you are with your children, or with
your sister, or with your mate, or with your co-workers, you might say to them, “Pardon me, I’m
feeling pretty rotten right now. I’m going to go off by myself and get reconnected with my
Source. And when I get feeling better, I’ll be back.” And then, we would go off into another
room, at least, and meditate, or breathe, or focus upon some pleasant thought until we feel that
relief that is the indicator that our resistance has lifted, and then we would take ourselves back
where it would be evident to everyone that we are feeling better. And in doing so, what you’re
saying is, “I’m dealing with this on my own. I’m not asking you to stand on your head to coax
me back into my connection. I’m understanding that my connection is a personal issue between
me and Me.”
An awful thing can’t happen to a happy person.
And, if you are honest about the way you are feeling… Someone asked us recently,
“What does Abraham think about children swearing?” And we shocked the audience a little bit
by saying, we’re all for it. And there were some disapproving participants. And we said, well one
thing about it is, when you are expressing with your words what you honestly are feeling, at least
you are giving other people an accurate understanding of Law of Attraction. If you’re feeling
rotten and you’re pretending to feel good, you’re not giving anyone an accurate depiction. And
so, when people are pretending to feel good and bad things are happening to them, then it is very
confusing to those who watch, because they don’t understand how such an awful thing could
happen to such a happy person.
And we say, an awful thing can’t happen to a happy person. In other words, you are
always a Vibrational Match to whatever is happening. So you really cannot answer questions
that are not being asked. If somebody’s not asking you, then your words are, for the most part,
wasted. But through the power of your example, often they can observe your deliberate,
conscious connection, and that’s the best way we know.
Moving, from resistance, up the Vibrational Stick.
Q The second question is, there seems to be a fine line between releasing resistance and
ignoring it. On the one hand, you seem to say, just turn the other cheek, just ignore it, but yet
wouldn’t it be better to somehow release it, because it’s still there? It’s still there, and I sense that
you’re saying if you’re just so far affected by this, whatever it is, that you just can’t be anywhere
but in a bad vibration, then you should ignore it. Otherwise you should be releasing it.
A You are making a very good observation, as you are noting the important difference
between ignoring and releasing. Here’s the way we would approach this. Let’s say that you have
a very strong belief that is contradictory to something that you want. Let’s say you want
wellness. You want a vital good-feeling body. But you come from a family that didn’t
experience wellness, and you have a very strong fear of illness. You want wellness, but you fear
illness. And so, every time you think about it, you feel negative emotion. You feel strong fear,
when you see the television commercials where they are telling you all of the warning signs
about one thing or another. You actually feel fear within your physical body. You have a general
overriding uneasiness about your physical well-being.
You go in for medical checkups on a regular basis, always fearful that they may find
something, or that you’ll hear those terrible words like cancer, or something that is so
uncomfortable. And so, when we say to you, ignore that thought, what we’re saying is, rather
than focusing upon the illness which is going to make you feel negative emotion, turn your
attention somewhere else. And what you are saying, and you’re accurate in it, is “Well, if I turn
my attention somewhere else, have I really changed my vibration, or am I not just as likely to go
back to that fearful place again?” And we say, you’re right, you are. Unless you actually do the
work that causes you to leave your vibration in another place, that vibration is where you last left
it. And just ignoring it is not going to do anything about it.
But at the same time, what we’ve noticed is, that if you in that moment of that strong,
strong fear, you look at it and try to deal with it, usually you don’t do anything other than hold
yourself in the vibration of it longer. So this is the distinction that we would make to your very
well articulated question. If this is an issue that life is going to keep bringing up to you over and
over and over again, it is a good idea for you to, little by little, take the bull by the horns, so to
speak, and move your vibration. As we said yesterday, move your vibration up the stick until you
begin to feel better. If it’s something that is coming at you dramatically… And ultimately, that’s
what you are wanting to do with any vibration that comes to up. In other words, if something is
bringing you a lot of negative emotion, that means there’s a lot of stimulation in your now
environment that is causing you to vibrate in a place you don’t want to be.
On the other hand, there are all kinds of vibrations within you that are absolutely
dormant—until you give your attention to them. And so, most people believe that they have to
dig into their psyche, or dig into themselves, and really work through all of those issues of the
past. And we say, that is really overkill. Instead, let your emotions guide you. And so, rather than
trying to cut yourself open and take out all of the thoughts that you commonly think, and sort
them into the good pile and the bad pile, which is a very painful process, and usually the patient
does not survive very well at all when you do it, what we would do instead is, we would just
begin making the statement, nothing is more important than that I feel good.
And in doing so, any time you stumble across a thought that is dormant, or not so
dormant, that is reactivated, that brings you negative emotion, at the time of that negative
emotion, then look at it and say to yourself, “Well, I know what I don’t want. What is it that I do
want?” And in approaching what you do want from the vibration of what you don’t want, you
can often move a little bit up the vibrational stick. We’ve offered endless processes that are all
pointed toward that same thing. At one time, we were calling it Pivoting, where if you know
what you don’t want, then you certainly know what you do want, and talk about what you want
and why you want it. And hold yourself in the vibration of what you do want. That always shifts
vibration a little bit.
We’ve talked about the Focus Wheel, where when you feel negative emotion, you clearly
know what you don’t want, so what is it that you do want? And when you know what it is you do
want, then make a series of statements and write them on a piece of paper. Draw a circle in the
center and write your statements that make you feel better. In other words, try to find a belief that
somehow matches what you do want, and make a series of those statements, until you can feel
yourself actually feeling better.
Today we are talking about moving up the Vibrational Stick. In other words, what we are really talking about
is, when you feel negative emotion, what you’re reaching for is anything and everything that makes you feel better from that negative emotion. And so, if you’re able to ignore it, sometimes that’s the best way to go about it right now. But ignoring it does not necessarily change the vibration of it, so likely it will come up again and again. And if you have recurring negative emotion over a similar issue, then this is advantageous for you to shift the vibration.
That’s one of the reasons that, so often, you want to get off by yourself. Because when
you are off by yourself, it is easier for you to maintain a positive vibration, than when you are in
combination with lots of other events. The more exposure you have to the more people, the more
likelihood of finding something that you feel negative emotion about. So ignoring sort of sounds
like bringing myself deeper and deeper into my solitary corner. And that’s really not what we’re
wanting to do. We would far rather than you were able to stand out there and approach the entire
world from a vibration that is so stable, that you only have vibrational access to the parts of the
world that you are really wanting to participate in. And, we call that Setting your own Tone.
So now, we want to tie this ignoring back in. Let’s say that you wake up and you’re
feeling rather good. You’re refreshed, you had a good night’s sleep, you had what Esther calls
sweet dreams, you are feeling very good about your life experience, and then you get a phone
call. And the phone call really doesn’t have anything to do with your life; it has to do with their
life. But you talked to them long enough that you included that in your vibration, and now you’re
not feeling nearly as cheerful as you were. Your vibration has substantially been influenced by
your caller. Now you’ve got a choice. You can stay focused upon that, you can worry about it, or
you can ignore that and give your attention to something else. And in truth, these are all about
In other words, the dealing with it sounds like, “Well, it’s my job to get out there and deal
with what’s happening in the issues, or in the experience of the physical human experience. It’s
my job to deal with those, and once I deal with them, then I will feel better.” But the trouble with
that is, you can’t deal with all those issues. In other words, you can’t deal with what your friend
is calling you about. You can’t deal with what’s happening in an earthquake zone across the
world, or in a war zone across the world. These are not issues for you to deal with. You get what
we’re talking about?
And so, what it really comes down to is, “I am a vibrational receiver. And I get to set my
vibrational tone, and whatever I choose, whether I am basing it on what I am observing in my
now, what I’m remembering from my past, or what I’m imagining from my future, whether I’m
choosing past, present, or future, what I am choosing to think about is what is causing my
vibration and therefore my point of attraction.” And so, we think the habit of ignoring what
doesn’t feel good is a pretty good habit. It’s not your job to fix all that stuff. That would be like
saying, “Well, I’ve lived 50 years, and in those 50 years I’ve had a lot of hardships. And now I
have to go back and work out all of those hardships in order to approach life.”
And we say, well, you could clean up your vibration a bit by doing that, but the whole
time you’re working through all of that, you’re holding yourself in a vibration that you don’t
have to hold yourself in. Why not stand right here in this fresh, new place, and let that contrast
do its work? By knowing those hardships, you had your rocket of desire. All you’ve got to do is
focus on the rocket of desire, and let that imagination set your new tone. And if you do that
enough, that vibration will dominate. In other words, it’s about choices. Which thought feels
better, this one or this one?
“But Abraham, you don’t understand, the desk clerk was really rude to me.” That wasn’t
the question, which feels better, this thought or this thought? “But Abraham, don’t you think
somebody should write a letter or do something about that? You really think that that should be
allowed?” Esther, that’s not the question. The question is, which thought feels better? Which
thought in all of the myriad of thoughts that you have to choose from about your life, or what
you’ve observed, or what you’ve lived, what you’re now living, what you will live, of all that
myriad of thoughts, why not just choose a thought that feels good? “Well, because I’m a realist,
and a realist says, I’ve got to wrestle that problem to the ground, and I’ve got to fix it. And if I do
it, I’ve done good work.” And we say, all you’ve done is let that problem be your excuse to not
vibrate where you now want to be. Good. [Excellent, thanks] We thought so too.
— Abraham-Hicks – Kansas City, MO — 08/29/99